Here is a great article from a Network Central member about public and private parenting from – enjoy!
Private and public parenting require two different sets of skills and two different sets of breathing techniques to survive. Just as in childbirth, at times it requires breathing slowly and deeply and at other times breathing is fast and furious. The same technique in the workplace is often very helpful in de-stressing difficult situations! Parenting in public requires mothers and fathers to have a barometer on managing their stress levels. This can assist them to diffuse situations. Pitch, tone, pace of voice, mannerisms and timing of responses generally are more controlled when we are in the public eye. We have all heard those words “Wait till we get home,” said under someone’s breath, and wonder what awaits a child. Does the tone of voice say it all? Behind closed doors the manner in which many parents respond to children may not be as guarded as it is when they are in public. Being in your own home provides you and your children with a different set of rules and behaviours. Children learn very quickly that public behaviours won’t work at home.
The feeling of being overwhelmed, tired, or angry are normal human emotions many parents feel and by expressing those emotions and feelings in private often provides greater license to release their frustrations. The same feeling in public may require the parent to add another layer of control to managing the situation. In our work places, behaviour guidelines can provide us with a safety net which protects and supports us. Codes of behaviour are defined by the values of the organisations and people we work with. Communication works most effectively when we know what to expect from people and the way in which the interaction will be conducted. Some people in my training sessions say that it is often easier to come to work than to parent children. The workplace is often less physically exhausting, less messy and more productive than at home. Parents often resolve issues with their children more quickly in public than they do in private and with less stress and anger. Perhaps the fear of being embarrassed, being seen as an ineffective parent, or judged poorly may be the catalyst for managing more fruitfully.
One of the keys to successful communication with children is being consistent in the way we respond either at home or in public. If the approach is the same whether at home or in public children avoid becoming confused or fail to learn the message and lessons we try so hard to teach them. Parenting in public make many people more conscious and aware of their habits and skills as parents. parenting in private often requires greater control over the ability to manage emotions and feelings. Greater awareness, consistency and self-regulation are ways to assist you in challenging circumstances, and remember if all else fails, keep breathing!
Ricky Nowak is an author, professional speaker and consultant in communication, leadership and presentation skills for many of Australia’s leading companies. She can be contacted on 03 9500 9886 or see more at www.rickynowak.com